The Devastating Effect of Manipulative Charisma
by Dr. John Tetsola

Absalom had unresolved offenses which led him to hate, sow seeds of discord, and to betray his own father, King David. Absalom brought untold agony to his family and devastated not only his life, but he caused the deaths of twenty thousand of the choice men of Israel. Absalom possessed manipulative charisma, a characteristic especially deadly in the hands of one void of character.

And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel.

And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee.

Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!

And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

2 Samuel 15:2-4, 6

It is Satan’s strategy to bring down leadership and churches. Absalom used legitimate and innocent complaints to steal the hearts of the people. His motive was not to resolve an offense; his motive was to create followers. They came for justice, but before they had a chance to go through the process, he planted a seed in their minds that they were not going to get justice while under the leadership of his father, King David. Absalom was bitter towards his father, and sought to exonerate himself in his own conscience that he would be a better king than his father.

And the conspiracy was strong; for the people increased continually with Absalom.

2 Samuel 15:12b

Absalom is a shining example of someone we do not want to become. In Scripture he is forever tainted with the memory of evil, and his name has become synonymous with disloyalty. Absalom developed a reputation for being cruel, disloyal, and unwise. He was gifted with remarkable beauty, commanding presence, natural dignity, and extraordinary grace, charm, and eloquence. Yet a treacherous nature lurked within him. His ego, pride, and selfishness led him to believe he could have anything he wanted, and that he was a better leader than the great King David. His disloyalty led him to conspire and devise a murderous plot toward his family. He was willing to attack David so that his own egotistical spirit could be satisfied, yet David sought the protection and safety of his conspirator. Absalom died in the end because of the beauty of his head, while the devastating effects of disloyalty caused David’s heart to cry, “Would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

In order to understand who Absalom is and to make sure we are not like him, let’s discuss what loyalty is, and what it is not. Loyalty means “to be faithful; to be constant and true in relationship; not undermining authority by our words, actions or attitude.” We live in a generation that undermines authority continually with words, actions, and attitude. The resistance of authority has become an acceptable alternative in this society. Even the church has stooped to tolerating gossip, murmuring, backbiting, and the questioning of authority.

But if we are going to be people of the Word of God, then we will nurture the qualities that will build integrity in our lives. Loyalty means “to stand with those you are serving in their time of need.” It is being a reliable messenger to those you are serving, while being a mirror and reflector of truth to them. Loyalty is constant and firm in relationships. It is standing with those you love in the time of their storms and in the time of their wars. Loyalty is learning when to “zip it up.” It is learning when to close your mouth and ears. Loyalty is standing with someone when they are under fire—when the enemy is shooting away, and even you have questions about them and are not sure, but the Lord says, “Stand with them,” and you say, “Yes, Lord.” Loyalty is staying on the team when you are sitting on the bench. It is not yelling at the coach when the crowd gets upset over the wrong play, even when you know that it was the wrong call. Loyalty is standing with the coach when the public won’t. It is a state of the heart and not an emotion. It is what we are in our character and not just in our mind.

Living by Deception
Now let’s look at some of the characteristics of a disloyal person. A disloyal person is very likable. Absalom was a very likable person. He had beautiful hair and was very good looking. He was the kind of guy you would like to be around. If you were choosing teams, you would have chosen Absalom. He was just a flat-out likable guy. But what you saw was not what you got. He was likable because of his charisma, and charisma can be quite manipulative. If the person lacks character, the power of their charisma can become quite damaging.

The secret problem with disloyalty is that it is never between you and a person. You’re not fighting with your pastor or eldership. The real battle is between you and God. God hates disloyalty. You can never hide it from His eyes and shove it under the carpet. God hears when you are off in a corner somewhere ripping and tearing someone apart. You think only your buddy heard it, but you are wrong. God heard you. If you think you can operate a divisive spirit in a church or in ministry without God knowing, you’d better wise up and know that He hears, and God will execute any judgment that is necessary. Learn from Absalom’s example.

by Dr. John A. Tetsola